Dream The End
by heatherlea75
Summary: Hyde is suffering from annoyingly vague dreams. Jackie is losing herself to something beyond her control. After sharing an unexpected and traumatic event, the former lovers protect a secret together until old issues threaten to destroy the new friendship.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything.

**Warning: **This story deals with a serious issue, a few, actually, and will be heavy angst. I hope to make it worth your while, however. I wanted something Jackie and Hyde could go through together, but not really, and to see how their relationship changes/responds. But be prepared, Jackie goes through a lot, and possibly more than I have planned at the moment. Those of you who've read my stories before know that I have to have a happy ending, so bear with me! :) (Donna isn't the sweetest person or best friend in these first chapters, but I think she'll come around.)

**Dream The End **

_Who cares about Jackie?_

_Mid February, 1980, Point Place, Wisconsin _

The outskirts of Point Place, the side of town made up of dirty train tracks, frightening forests, and run-down, abandoned buildings was every day becoming more beautiful and peaceful to her. Particularly the bridge. It wasn't fancy, with no lovely name like the Golden Gate Bridge, or the Brooklyn Bridge. In fact, it had no name at all. People simply referred to it as "the bridge"- it was the only bridge in the vicinity of Point Place - and everyone understood.

She parked her car on the side of the road just ahead of the bridge, and slowly got out. Her body ached, even simply getting out of bed lately was a difficult. She walked towards the bridge, plain and rusted metal meant to allow crossing of the Tonka River. On both sides of the road, walkways separated the edge of the bridge from the road, and she followed the path. Her stomach tensed with both hesitation and anticipation. One of these days the hesitation would no longer be there.

When she reached the middle of the bridge, she shivered and leaned against the cold barrister. It was early evening, the daylight was fading into haze. She supposed the sunset was beautiful, the air around her held that sheen, but she didn't bother to turn to the west. It didn't matter. She stared at the water below. She'd been told that the Tonka River was deep with a rocky bottom.

The water was smooth tonight, no ripples, no movement, a dark navy blue with glints of gold and copper. Kisses from the sunset.

A no name bridge, a river no one even bothered to fish in, both nestled in the forgotten part of town.

She gripped the waist-high guard rail. No wonder she felt kinship with this spot. Her eyes closed, and she inhaled deeply. Probably her imagination, but she smelled the river. Not dirty, not clean. Not salty, not quite fresh.

A no name bridge, an ignored river. One that wasn't salty or fresh, that wasn't dirty or clean.

She opened her eyes and looked again at the water. Now, just a few seconds later, the breeze picked up and the water's smooth cover rippled. She smiled. "You might as well be the Jackie river," she whispered.

No tears filled her eyes. Lately, tears weren't there. She wondered if she'd cried away all her body had to offer. She sighed, the heaviness in her chest not quite abating, and turned to walk back to her car.

Why was it so hard? Even turning the key in the lock was hard. Closing the door behind her was hard. Starting the ignition was hard.

She groaned and lay her head down on the steering wheel. She was so tired. Maybe she'd just rest a little bit, then go home and go to bed. Sleep would help.

_A few hours later _

Steven Hyde sat up in his bed, panting and wondering what the hell was going on in his damn mind. He raised his hands and rubbed his face, trying to dispel the images. Some faceless woman falling or jumping off something, a cliff or bridge or building or something. Fucking dreams. Recurring. They'd started after New Year's. Once or twice a week, at the least. He stayed still but for his breathing until it slowed to a comfortable level that didn't burn his throat.

And then he rolled his eyes, flopping back to his bed. He stared at the ceiling, at the dart of light let in from the slight opening in the curtains covering his window. A window. He still wasn't quite used to it. After living so long in the basement room with no light except electric, the comfort of the room upstairs was sometimes nice, sometimes disconcerting.

The light danced, and he watched it.

Fucking dreams. His fingers tapped on the bed, and he glowered at the innocent light. Self-disgust settled in the bottom of his stomach, and he shot up. "No way," he muttered, shoving his blankets off his body. He rolled off the bed and grabbed the tee shirt he'd strewn on the floor. No way was he going to lay here and analyze the dream. It was nothing. Stupid mind tricks that had no bearing on reality at all.

He quietly opened his door and sneaked out. The hallway was dark, but hell. He was criminal, or so others often gleefully informed him. He didn't need any freaking light. Creeping towards the stairs, he figured everyone was asleep and wouldn't notice if he went to the basement and hit up his stash. He grinned. Thank God for Forman and his creepy doll boxes he'd left down there. They made nice hiding places that Red - anti-doll man that he was - would never touch let alone look in.

He opened the door to the basement, wincing when it made hinted of the creak that was sometimes ear-splitting. He slowed, and luckily, the creak dissipated. The lights downstairs were on, and he took a few hesitant steps, frowning. Who in the hell was down here at 2 in the morning?

And then he saw them, Forman and his girlfriend Donna Pinciotti, nuzzling on the couch. He rolled his eyes.

The last thing he was in the mood for was them. Since Forman's return from Africa, and since Donna had torn him a new one in a fun-filled scream fest one afternoon in early January, the two had been disgusting. Making out all over the place, and bringing the gift of nausea to all they met.

This time, they were talking.

He was about to turn, figuring he'd take one night off from being a jerk and eavesdropping, until he heard his name.

"Don't you think something's bothering Hyde lately?"

Hyde made a face.

"How can you tell?" Donna laughed, and Forman continued. "No, seriously, how can you tell?"

"Ever since that Brian guy showed up, he's been...well, he's been more violent than usual. Remember? Kelso and Fez showed us those bruises all over their arms."

Hyde's fingers tightened around the railing. Brian. Fucking asshole, kiss up Brian. Just the thought of that prick made his blood instantly run hot. Though of course, no one knew that but him. He thought he'd been pretty good at hiding his utter loathing for the wannabe.

"Donna, Hyde's always rough with them. And to be honest, the way they've been acting lately, I can understand. God, it's like they're ten years old at times."

"Oh, this coming from you, Eric? You keep dolls in your room."

Hyde grinned. Wicked burn.

There was a pause, and he noticed when Forman spoke, the normal good-natured-ness was absent. There was an edge to his voice.

"And you keep books that you've never read and never intend to read because you want everyone to think you're so freaking smart."

Hyde arched an eyebrow. Trouble in paradise? Could it be? He thought about sitting down. A Forman/Donna fight could be entertaining.

"Whatever, Eric. Look, this isn't about us. I'm worried about Hyde. You know, he hasn't really dated anyone since Sam left."

His stomach clenched. Sam. Not exactly his favorite topic.

"So? Maybe he's had his fill of dating."

"It's just, I think we should do something. He was happy with Sam."

He shook his head. She'd told him the same thing, and he couldn't help but wondering how the hell she'd bought into that. Comfortable, yes. Mildly contented, sure, or at least enough to not do anything about the situation. Hell, the sex was decent and consistent, and there wasn't much fighting, nothing cataclysmic. It was relaxing. Sam had been his calm after Hurricane Jackie destroyed all.

But happy? Donna talked as if Sam was the love of his life.

Weird. He'd wanted to leave _someone_ with that impression. He hadn't counted on being such a good actor that Donna would get the same one.

And oddly, it bothered him.

"I want to call her. She gave me a number when she left. I want to see if she'll come back and try to work things out with Hyde."

Hyde swallowed hard. Damn, what in the hell was Donna thinking? His grip on the rail tightened until he could feel the bones of his knuckles stretching his skin perilously thin.

"What about Jackie, Donna? From what I heard, they didn't exactly get along."

Hyde stifled a snicker. That was putting it mildly. The only times Sam really bugged him was when she was whining about Jackie and acting like a damn three year old. _Hyde, she's bugging me. Make her go away. Make her shut up. Make her die. _At least Jackie eventually tried to carry on with her life.

_She did, you moron. With her new, perfect boyfriend. _

He grinned. Yeah. That would last maybe one more month, at the most.

His grin fell. How had they lasted even this long?

"Who cares about Jackie? She's with someone else. What would it matter to her?" A pause. "Besides, and I know this sounds horrible, but...Okay. Say you were forced to eat liver and onions every day. You even had to eat it twenty four hours a day at one point. And you got used to it. Never really loved it, but got used to it, maybe liked it a little bit. But wouldn't you eventually get so damn sick of it you'd never want to eat it again? That's how I feel about Jackie. Truthfully, it wouldn't bother me if she stopped hanging around."

Hyde retreated. His chest was burning, and he had a feeling that he didn't really want to hear the rest of this conversation. Slowly and carefully, he climbed the few steps he'd descended.

Who cares about Jackie.

He'd thought and muttered those same words over the past six months, quite often. As he reached the top step and closed the door as quietly as he could, he wondered if Donna got the same sick feeling he always did when the words came to mind.

He smirked, but his stomach sank. From what he'd just heard, he doubted it. In fact...Jesus Christ, was Donna's idea to bring Sam back more about helping him or hurting Jackie?

Passing through the kitchen, Hyde considered making a sandwich, but didn't. Instead, he went back to his room and lay down.

The best thing about Laurie's old room was that it held no memories, at least none that made his insides curl. _Who cares about Jackie? _He closed his eyes, grimacing and glaring. The last thing he wanted to do was think about Jackie. Besides, she had her new, perfect boyfriend to care about her. So why should it matter if Donna was being a first class bitch to her?

Who in the hell was the woman in his dreams?

His eyes opened. Sleep wasn't going to come anytime soon.

Fucking dreams.

_Jackie and Fez's apartment _

Fez stood in the living room, hands on his hips. His beautiful girlfriend, the goddess he'd pined over for years, sat on the couch. Only she was not naked with a bowl of candy on her lap like she did often in his fantasies. She was wearing her puffy robe, the one that hid her breathtaking body, and she had no make up on. In her lap there was a bowl, but of popcorn, and she was spilling it all over herself. He'd never seen her eat so carelessly. "Jackie."

She stared at the television set, not appearing to even notice him.

Fez rolled his eyes and raised his voice. "Jackie!"

Not a glance.

He shook his head. "I am going to the Hub to meet Kelso. Would you like to come with me?"

No answer.

"Jackie?"

Nothing.

"JACKIE!"

"Just go, Fez, okay?"

Fez swallowed, but the anger still burned his throat raw. He wanted to say something, to tell her that she never wanted to do anything or go anywhere. He wanted to shake her and ask her what happened to the girl who'd finally pursued him the way he'd always longed for her to. He wanted to know what he'd done wrong, though he knew several things already. But she'd forgiven him for those incidents. There must be something else.

Instead, he simply nodded and spoke haltingly. "Fine. I will see you later, then."

He took a step towards her, to give her a goodbye kiss, but stopped. Her lovely eyes weren't meeting his, weren't even approaching his, and he figured it would be a wasted effort. Like most of the times he tried to kiss her lately, she'd simply turn a cheek to him. He turned to the door and reached for the doorknob, but hesitated.

He had something to say.

He didn't turn, and closed his eyes. "Jackie, I do not know what is wrong with you. But you are not the Jackie I know. You are not the Jackie I loved." He opened the door and his eyes at the same time. "You are no fun anymore, Jackie."

_The next morning _

She was supposed to go to work this morning. Her lovely job at the salon. Sweeping and mopping floors, washing towels, cleaning up messes. All things she used to watch her family's maid Martina do.

Jackie Burkhart rolled over in her bed, to face away from the daylight soaking through her window curtains. Stupid light. It should be dark. It should be dark all the time.

_Jackie, I do not know what is wrong with you. But you are not the Jackie I know. You are not the Jackie I loved. Loved. Lov-ED. _

_Ha. He never loved me in the first place. If he had, that...that thing never would have happened. Or that other thing. And he wouldn't spend all his time with Michael or hiding in Donna's closet or spying on the neighbors. _

_Then again...I don't think I've ever loved him, either. God, how could I have thought I did? Sure, he's my best friend...my only friend... _

"Jackie, I am going now. I will tell Jeri that you are sick, okay?"

She closed her eyes, but didn't answer. Hopefully he'd think she was sleeping. He knocked again, called her name again, then sighed heavily. Her stomach tightened, her breath stuck in her chest until his footsteps faded away from her door. She heard the apartment door open and close, and she released the breath, her chest and stomach instantly finding relief.

Sleep. All she wanted was sleep. But first...

She got up, her muscles groaning from the effort, and walked to her stereo. She turned on the radio.

"Hi, this is Hot Donna, and for all you freaks out there, I've got the perfect song. Here's..."

Jackie turned it back off, glaring at the poor machine. Donna. Hot Donna. Her supposed best friend. The girl all guys, for whatever reason, lusted over, including her boyfriend. Oh, he told her that he didn't sneak into Donna's closet anymore.

He lied. And she knew it. Donna had told her, almost happily so, like it was a joke, that Fez still visited her.

Why didn't Donna make him stop? She yelled, jerked him out of the closet. But always with that half smile that meant she was mostly amused. Of course, that was the least of her transgressions. Becoming best friends with Steven's whore of a "wife" beat that, hands down. The ultimate betrayal.

Donna. What was so damn hot about a giant lumberjack with dyed blonde hair and enormous feet? Not to mention her pores.

Not to mention her screwed up sense of friendship.

None of them cared. Not Donna, not Fez. Not Eric, not Michael. And certainly not Steven.

Hell, maybe _she_ didn't even care anymore.

She shook her head and walked back to her bed, sliding in and pulling the covers to her chin.

There really wasn't anything, any_one_ to care about anyway.

Maybe she'd go to the bridge today. Throw some rocks into the water. Just to see. Just as a test.

Her eyes closed, and her heart pounded so furiously it drummed her ears. Maybe later. Right now all she wanted was sleep.

Blessed sleep.

_That afternoon _

Hyde drove, not really thinking about where he was going. Didn't matter. Nothing really did. Randy could man the store for an hour or two.

That asshole Brian. Blood test or not, he was an imposter. An imposter who was gonna worm him right out of his store. WB sure as hell was impressed. Hyde gripped the wheel tightly. Figures that WB wouldn't see through it. He was too over the moon at having yet another illegitimate son, this one black, this one preppy and just like him. Probably the son he'd always wanted.

He grimaced and turned down County Road 34. Why not? Maybe he'd just drive off that stupid, decrepit bridge. At the very least, he could put some nasty graffiti on it. He had a few cans of spray paint in the El Camino for a situation just like this.

Weird thing was that when he reached the bridge, Jackie's car was there, parked off the side of the road. He lifted his foot off the gas pedal; there she was, standing at the side of the bridge in about the middle of the length.

He pressed on the brake, stopped the car. She turned, and their eyes met. She looked almost panicked, for a second or two, and then she turned her back on him. He frowned and got out of the car.

"Hey."

She didn't say anything, and he came up next to her, glancing at her, then down at the water. It was murky, in places almost lumpy, looked pretty gross. What in the hell was she finding so fascinating about it? He arched an eyebrow. "Found a new place to hang out, huh?" He looked at her again. She looked...bad. Not bad exactly, but...unkempt. Her hair was messy, her face bare of make up. Her clothes...was she actually wearing sweat pants and a tee shirt? Out of her apartment?

She didn't respond, and he stood still. She bent down and picked up a rock. She threw it, a pretty decent toss for such a girly girl, and he watched her as her eyes followed it into the water.

His entire body tensed. She was acting weird. Really weird. Not talking? That wasn't Jackie. Throwing rocks? Not Jackie.

She walked away from him, and he frowned and followed her. "Jackie, what the hell are you doing here?"

She stopped, didn't turn. "You don't care, Steven."

She continued on, he didn't, though his eyes went after her.

_Who cares about Jackie? _

_The next day, Los Angeles _

She walked the lousy hotel room, taking a quick inventory to make sure she had everything packed up. Reassured that she had, she smiled and walked to the mirror. Smoothing down her blonde hair, she took a deep breath. Today she was leaving this hell hole and heading back to where she belonged. In the mirror, beyond her, she saw the tiny face of her son, and she turned. She walked over to him and gently touched his cheek. "You ready to go meet daddy, baby?"

No answer, just a wide eyed stare, and she nodded, smiling but her body tightening and quaking with nerves.

This was the right thing. For her son, and for her.

And somehow, she'd convince _him_ that it was the right thing for him, too.

Thank god she had the cross country car trip to figure out just exactly how she was going to accomplish that.

Some people were going to have a hell of a problem with her return. One person in particular, so she'd heard.. It didn't matter at all.

She smiled. "Who cares about Jackie?"

_Point Place, Wisconsin _

The dream was different this time. Two faceless women instead of just one. They seemed to be fighting. One of them pushed the other into some cloud of smog, and she disappeared.

This time, Hyde didn't bother getting up. He lay in bed, angrily staring at that stupid freaking light on the ceiling.

The dreams were getting to him. He was having them frequently. At least once a week, the woman visited him. And now there was two women? What the hell?

That stupid light!

He got up and tugged the curtains closed. "Stay," he growled, pointing at them. But of course, by the time he got back into bed, they'd parted, and he slammed his fist into the mattress.

This room was not all it was cracked up to be. "I should move back down to the basement," he grumbled. He nodded. Yeah. That's what he'd do. And hell, the move would probably take care of the dreams, too.

At least he hoped so. He was sick as hell of them.

He closed his eyes, and Jackie's face was there. Jackie standing on the bridge, throwing the rock off, so enthralled by its landing in the water. She'd been the palest he'd ever seen her. She'd seemed so vacant.

A chill began at his toes and quickly ran the length of his body. He shivered. What in the hell was going on with her? What in the hell was she doing at that old bridge?

He groaned and rolled to his side, squeezing his eyes until all he saw was black and shiny spots.

Jackie wasn't his to take care of. Her new, perfect boyfriend Fez could deal with whatever her deal was.

_You don't care, Steven. _

"Shut up, Jackie. Just shut the hell up."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: I don't own.

**Warning: **Not much in this chapter. A little language.

**AN: **Thank you SO much for the reviews! You guys are awesome. :) I'm going to try to post this once a week, Monday or Tuesday. So keep looking for it, and keep reading!

**Dream the End **

_Not Into It_

_A few days later, the Hub _

Pushing the food around on her plate was enough to keep her distracted, and though the others chatted, including Steven's latest skank whose voice was deep enough to be a man's, Jackie didn't hear the words. She kept her eyes on the fries and burger, the puddle of ketchup, the discarded pickles, all nearly completely untouched. It was better this way. She had nothing to say. And it didn't seem to bother anyone, anyhow. She might as well be invisible.

She kind of wished she was.

She frowned. The skank wasn't even Steven's type. She was ugly, and had huge hips. Even Sam had been better looking, though equally if not more so slutty.

Out of the top of her eyes, she thought she noticed Steven and the tramp standing, thought she heard them saying something along the lines of "see you later". And despite herself, she looked up and watched them head to the door. Steven opened the door and guided the alleged girl through it, a hand on her back, and Jackie's stomach twisted. _He used to do that for me. Sometimes. Mostly when no one else was around. A lot, then. _

She shook her head. No matter. Luckily, a sharp elbow caught her side, and she looked to her right. "God, Donna, if you want my attention you could just say something instead of breaking my ribs." She rubbed her side and rolled her eyes.

Donna snorted. "I said your name like three times," she said, her voice rather snotty. "Anyway, do you want to go to the movies tonight?"

Jackie straightened her shoulders. She'd been forgetting lately, and slouching. Her mother would be ashamed. "I can't. Fez and I have a date." She hoped she wasn't making a face. After Fez's initial outpouring of roses and candy and romantic dinners, which lasted about a week, his idea of dates had gone to hell. Now, they went for walks, or hung out in the basement, or watched Michael fuss over his clothes and his hair and his daughter. And even when they went shopping, he never bought her anything. Never even let _her _buy herself anything, claiming excuses like rent and groceries and boring things.

She closed her eyes briefly. And then there were the _other_ dates.

Shaking her head, she opened her eyes and looked at Donna. "So, sorry. Fez and I are going to be busy having a very romantic night together, unlike you and Eric, who will just be hanging out with Michael and Steven, I bet."

Donna frowned, and Jackie wondered why she looked confused.

"Are you sure?"

Jackie rolled her eyes. "Of course I'm sure. Why wouldn't I be sure?" She watched as Donna and Eric exchanged looks.

"I just thought Fez was going with us, tonight. Didn't he tell you that, Eric?"

Jackie looked at Eric. He shrugged and looked at her not so apologetically.

"Yeah, he said that, but I'm sure he just forgot." He grinned.

Jackie stood up, her stomach turning. Forgot? No one forgot Jackie Burkhart, with one notable exception, one that had just a few minutes ago left the Hub, and one she was not going to think about anymore, ever. "Whatever. We're not going. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a beautiful night to go get ready for." She put on her brightest smile and shook her hair off her shoulders. "Not that I need to do much to make myself more beautiful, but you know." She glanced at Donna. "Donna, don't you remember what I told you about plaid?" She shook her head and walked away, trying not to move as quickly as she wanted to.

When she got outside, she turned and looked in. Donna and Eric sat there, smiling at each other and seemingly not aware of anything except each other. She took a deep breath.

At least she was fooling them. If only she could start fooling herself.

_A cheap motel room _

Hyde didn't move and stared at the ceiling while Tracy, or Lacey, whatever her name was, for some reason, he couldn't remember it, paced the floor and hurried to dress. Boy, had he misjudged this one. He'd thought she was out for a good time, like he was, and nothing more.

"I just can't keep doing this if this isn't going anywhere, Hyde."

He turned his head and watched her struggle to get her jeans on. "Look, I told you when we hooked up that I'm not looking for anything long term. That kind of thing makes me sick. I'm just not into it."

She paused, her eyes boring into him. He stared back. That kind of thing didn't bother him. Hell, a chick wouldn't ever intimidate him or shake him down.

Not again.

"Then don't bother calling me. Ever."

He shrugged. He supposed she thought she was something special, that she would be the one to change him. Right. "Fine." He arched an eyebrow and looked her up and down. Damn, she wasn't nearly as hot as he'd initially thought. "No big loss."

She stormed out of the room, calling him an asshole as she did, and he chuckled. He'd been called that and worse before. No skin off his back.

He closed his eyes. Maybe he'd take a little nap before heading back to the Forman's to move his stuff to the basement. Sleep was good. Sometimes better than chicks.

Lately, _always _better than chicks.

An hour later, he sat up, breathing hard and rubbing his aching forehead. This time there were three shadowy woman, two tall ones backing the smaller third into a corner until she sank to the floor and curled herself into a ball, then disappeared into black smoke.

He shoved his fingers through his hair.

Damn dreams.

_Half an hour later, the Forman house _

Hyde stared at Mrs. Forman. She was sitting on the couch in the living room, her eyes glued to the television. Every so often, she raised a tissue to her eyes, and he couldn't stop himself from grinning. Some of the things that made Mrs. Forman get all teary were a bit ridiculous. "Hey, Mrs. Forman. Watching your soaps again? Did some chick discover she was making out with her long lost twin brother who has amnesia?"

She gave him a sarcastic smile, sniffing as she did. "No, Mr. Smarty Pants. I'm watching Donahue, and he's interviewing parents whose children have committed suicide. Oh, it's so sad, Steven." She sniffed loudly again and wiped her eyes. "The parents had no idea anything was wrong, and the children didn't talk to them at all. The way you and Eric don't talk to me."

Hyde raised an eyebrow as Mrs. Forman's expression hardened. "Uh..."

She stood and walked to him. "Now, Steven, you aren't depressed, are you? Because they said that depressed children are secretive and have trouble sleeping. And that's you."

He shook his head. "No, Mrs. Forman, I'm not depressed. I promise."

"But you're moving back to the basement. They say that depressed children begin giving their belongings away, and you're giving away your bedroom!"

Hyde nearly choked when she threw her arms around him and encased him in a bone-crushing hug. He patted her back and tried to breathe. "Uh...no, no, Mrs. Forman, I swear I'm not gonna kill myself. I swear."

She drew back and looked up at him. "You promise?"

He nodded.

She smiled and patted his cheek. "Good. And if you ever even feel like it, you'll talk to me first?"

"Of course, Mrs. Forman." He shifted on his feet, trying to keep the reassuring smile on his face.

"Good, good. You know, there's a beer in the refrigerator. Why don't you take it downstairs with you? I won't tell Red." She laughed and rubbed his shoulders. "I think if those parents had let their kids have a little alcohol now and again, they might still be alive!"

Hyde watched her float off into the kitchen. He had beer in his room, didn't really need to steal one from Red. "Ah, hell, why not," he muttered and headed towards the kitchen. He could always just blame Forman, or Kelso. Or better yet, Fez.

He grinned.

_A few hours later, Jackie and Fez's apartment _

Jackie stared at herself in the mirror and took a long, slow breath. Last week, she'd been in a funk. No more of that. Not if she wanted to keep Fez, and she had to. She absolutely had to. No way in hell was she going to lose another guy, and whatever it took, she'd do it. Even if it meant giving herself a pep talk.

"Okay, Jackie, no more feeling sorry for yourself," she said, not caring that she was talking to herself or that it might be considered crazy by certain judgmental people. "You look amazing." She nodded. She did. She was wearing a tight red dress with thin straps. Her make up was perfect, and she'd even put red lipstick on, the kind Fez loved the best.

She tried not to think about why.

Her hair was loose in waves, and she'd perfumed all the right spots. She was ready for a night of romance.

"Fez won't know what hit him," she continued, turning to the side and smoothing her hands over her stomach and thighs. She gave the mirror her sexiest look. "And this time, he won't need to look at those disgusting magazines first."

She swallowed and closed her eyes. Who was she kidding? She'd done this before. Gotten just as dolled up. And ever since that first time, the disaster that was Valentine's Day, he'd been...

"No." She stuck her chin out. "No. I'm not going to do this. I'm done with that self-pity. I mean, God, I'm Jackie Burkhart!"

As she walked out to the living room to wait for Fez, she thought that Donna would be proud of her. For taking the initiative and trying to solve a problem instead of just doling out an ultimatum like she'd seriously considered doing. Of course, Donna didn't even know there was a problem. She'd never asked. Probably never would.

_Half an hour later _

Jackie's breath was rapid as she dialed the Forman's number. She raised a shaking hand to the phone and waited. When Mrs. Forman answered, she managed to settle her heart and lungs down enough to speak audibly. "Hello, Mrs. Forman, this is Jackie. I'm just wondering if Fez is there? We had a date, and he hasn't...Oh, he was? But where did they go? Oh, okay. No, no, that's fine. I'm just going to...I need to go. Thanks, Mrs. Forman."

She hung up, and waited for the tears. She should be crying. Her boyfriend had ditched her to go to the movies with people who for one, weren't as beautiful as she was, and two, weren't planning on sleeping with him.

But as she wandered aimlessly through the apartment, her cheeks flushed and her limbs weakening and shaking, the tears didn't come.

She sat on the couch.

There was just nothing. An absolute blank inside of her.

She smiled weakly, the laughed a bit.

It was actually a little bit funny.

_The drive-in, the same time _

Hyde took a drag off his cigarette and watched as Eric and Donna, Kelso and Fez came back to the cars with arms piled with food. He was set. Beer and a brown bag. Nothing else needed. And if he did need food, he'd just steal Kelso's. Or better yet, Fez's candy. The guy was ridiculous about candy, and it was always fun to get a rise out of him.

"I don't know, Fez," Donna said, giving a sideways glance to the foreigner. "Jackie was pretty convinced that you had a date tonight. Won't she be mad that you ditched her?"

Hyde noticed the rather satisfied smirk she sent Forman's way.

"She won't even notice. I do not know her any more. She isn't even bitchy." Fez sighed loudly. "She is not as sexy as she was when she was bitchy."

Kelso shrugged. "Yeah, when she got all complicated after Hyde stole her from me, she really lost a lot of her appeal."

Hyde didn't want to say anything. And he tried not to. But the smug smile Kelso threw him as well as Fez's whining had turned his temper sour. "Oh, is that so? Is that why you were constantly hitting on her when she was with me?"

Donna broke in, stepping in between Hyde and Kelso. "Okay, okay, lets not go down this road again. God, can we have just one night where we don't talk about Jackie? Honestly, Eric and I are home for the weekend and we want to have fun. We don't want to hear about Jackie's drama." She looked at Eric and smiled. "Wonder what she'll do without a male drooling over her."

Hyde watched as she and Eric climbed into the back of the Vista Cruiser. He figured she must be taking some stupid feminism class, because she was even more brutal towards Jackie than she'd ever been before.

"Why don't you just break up with her, man?" Kelso asked Fez, as the two settled down on the back of the El Camino on either side of Hyde. "I mean, you said yourself you're just not into it anymore."

Hyde crossed his arms and scowled. _This better end soon. _He'd heard enough of Fez's complaining about Jackie, from how she was such a bitch to how she wasn't bitchy enough anymore, from how she resented his library of porn to how she wouldn't join him in peeping on the neighbors. On and on and on and on.

"I know, but I do not know how to do it," Fez whined.

"You could always go to Vegas and marry a stripper. Worked for Hyde."

Hyde elbowed Kelso hard, coaxing a loud howl from the guy. "Shut up, jackass."

"What? I mean, yeah, she was upset for a minute, but she didn't seem that broken up about it," Kelso protested, wincing and rubbing his side.

Hyde glared at him. "Look, the movie's starting, and if you girls are going to chatter through the whole thing, get the hell out of my car."

They shut up.

Hyde tried to pay attention to the movie, but couldn't.

Kelso was right. Jackie hadn't seen that upset when Sam showed up. She hadn't cried, hadn't screamed, hadn't done anything that he'd seen. Hadn't begged him to send the stripper packing. She'd just metaphorically shrugged, pronounced herself done with men, and then moved on to Fez, the next one in the group she had to conquer.

He swallowed hard and reached into his jacket pocket for the bag.

No way was he going to think about Jackie tonight. And why hadn't he just smirked when Kelso brought up Vegas and told Fez to do just that? Damn it, he should have. That's what he did. Burn people. Would have been a sweet burn on Jackie, no matter that she wasn't here to feel it.

_No. Not gonna think about that chick. _

Ten minutes after he'd lit up a joint, he thought about her. Wondered what she was doing. If she was crying over Fez the way she hadn't cried over him that last time. If she was at that bridge again, in those sweat pants and tee shirt. If she was throwing rocks into the dirty river.

He let his head fall back against the back window of the Camino. The movie went on, people said stuff, did things, and he hardly noticed. He just wasn't in to it.

_A hotel in Point Place _

Her son lay sleeping, and she sat on the bed next to him, watching him. He was beautiful, looked just like his father. And he'd changed her life, which is why she was in Point Place. She had to be less selfish. She had to make his life as wonderful as possible, whatever it took.

She sighed and looked up at the ceiling. No one knew about him, not even her parents. Soon, she'd have to tell them. Her baby deserved a family, a father, grandparents, an uncle, maybe an aunt and cousins.

Maybe someday, siblings.

Taking a deep breath, she nodded to herself and opened her eyes. She looked at her baby boy again, reached to him and stroked his soft cheek. Rose petals on her fingers, and her heart flipped over. "Soon, baby," she whispered.

When she lay down next to him, he stirred and rolled towards her. She smiled and wrapped an arm around him.

Just a few days, enough to gather her courage, and she'd start to give her son everything he deserved.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Warning: **Language.

**A/N: **I'm so sorry for the delay! I'm back in the fic writing swing, so hopefullly it won't happen again! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I hope you enjoy this story. People are acting strange, but fear not, there's reasons for it. At least you get a big question answered in this chapter. Hee hee!

**Dream the End **

_I'll just go_

_Later that night, about 1 pm, the Forman basement _

Hyde was still laughing when he pulled the basement door open. Tricking Fez and Kelso into getting out of the car five miles outside of town, then streaking off with wheels screaming had definitely made his night. He walked into the basement chuckling and looking forward to a cold beer and a little hit of the his stash. Maybe he'd luck out and find some semi-dirty movie on television. But two steps inside, he stopped. Jackie stood in front of the couch, her face quickly falling when their eyes met.

His chest tightened. She was wearing a tight black dress, low cut, black fishnet stockings on her legs, higher heels than he'd ever seen her in and that made her legs look two miles long. Her lips were bright red, her hair tumbling to her shoulders in soft curls. His breath caught for a second. Yeah, she looked hot, damned hot, but there was something wrong. She was dressed up more whore-like than he'd ever seen her.

For Fez, obviously.

But it wasn't her. She wasn't this chick. It didn't suit her. She looked out of place. He'd always liked it when she wore hardly any make up, when she wore jeans and a tee shirt, or her cheerleading outfit, or maybe a teasingly mid-length skirt that she flipped up when she walked. She was her sexiest when she was a tease, not giving it all away at once.

That was a long time ago. Fez had different tastes, and of course she was indulging him. Of course she was. Hadn't she indulged his at one point in time? A long time ago?

He cleared his thickening throat. "Hey," he said, doing his best to grin. "Waiting for someone? 'Cause if it's Fez, he's gonna be awhile." He walked past her, not inhaling so to miss what he knew was a sweet and sexy scent he'd be thinking about all night. He sat in his chair and shrugged at her questioning look. "They were bugging the crap out of me, so I ditched them by the lake." He nodded. "Yep. Gonna be a long, cold walk for those morons."

Jackie didn't look amused. She didn't look anything, really. Her face was blank. Not Zen, just blank. Hyde raised an eyebrow. It bugged him. It wasn't natural. It wasn't Jackie, and it made something twist hard in his stomach. He didn't like it.

"Steven, did Fez know we had a date tonight?" She sat down, scooting to the edge of the couch closest to his chair. "And tell me the truth, okay?"

Hyde pulled his glasses off his shirt and tossed them on the table, then leaned back in his chair. "Funny, you used to want me to lie to you all the time." She looked confused, and at least that was something. Better than the blank. "Like when I said Brooke was hot. Remember? You wanted me to lie and say she wasn't."

She made a face, almost a wince, then shook her head. "Steven, who cares about that? I just wanna know if Fez knew we had a date tonight."

Odd, her voice was so dull, no emotion. Hyde shifted in his chair and crossed his right foot over his left knee. He thought about picking at her, goading her into anything but this freaky calm of hers, but the ache in his head and a sudden weariness talked him out of it. He sighed. "Yeah, he knew."

She just sat there. He just sat there watching her just sit there, looking down, then straight ahead, nothing on her face. No hint of an impending explosion.

He shifted again, dropping his right foot to the floor. "What, aren't you going to throw a temper tantrum? Cuss him out? Come up with clever revenge ideas?"

She shook her head. "No."

He saw her lips move, thought he heard her mumble "why bother", but the whole thing was getting too weird. Too spooky. It wasn't Jackie. He stood up, both his temples throbbing now. Yeah. He needed a quick joint, then bed. "Okay, well, whatever. See ya later. I'm hitting the sack." He headed towards his old room, and grinned when he flipped the light. Funny, it would be nice to sleep on the cot again. He pulled the blankets down and nodded. Yep. This was where he belonged. He sat down and tugged off his boots, tossing them into the middle of the room. Heh. Mrs. Forman hadn't let him get away with that upstairs. Here, it didn't matter. Here, sloppy was the norm. And he liked it that way.

He frowned. Nothing else was normal lately. Not Donna, not Forman, not WB. Not Jackie.

"Steven?"

He looked up, and Jackie stood in the doorway, still looking empty. He ran his fingers through his hair. "What, Jackie?"

She came in, apparently not picking up his irritation, and walked to the end of the room. "Why did you move back down here?"

Hyde watched her as she continued walking, taking small steps in a line back and forth between the door and a pile of boxes that lined the opposite wall. She'd done it often enough, though tonight she didn't look around with her usual disdain of the decor. She didn't really look at all. He shrugged. "Suits me better than Laurie's old room," he said. "Besides, this way I'm closer to my beer."

She turned then and took a step, her lips parted to speak, but before a word could sound, she tripped over his boot. She fell towards him, and instinctively, he reached for her.

And suddenly, Hyde was on his back with her tiny body on top of him.

For a moment, everything went white.

He closed his eyes. She smelled sweet, roses and vanilla, a scent that filled both his mind and body with memories. His hands slipped to her lower back, then a little lower. She wasn't moving, she wasn't making any effort to get up, and in fact, it felt like she was burrowing into him. Her body pressed down, her head turned in to the crook of his neck, and her breath spread heat over his skin.

"Steven," she whispered. Just like she used to. Right in this room. Right on this bed. Exactly like this.

And just like he used to, he turned towards her. His lips found her ear lobe, and he tasted it once. Then twice. Then three times, this time lightly skimming the flesh with his teeth.

She shivered and gave a soft whimper.

His hands moved downward, over her ass and to the backs of her thighs, but the smoothness he'd so often found there wasn't there. There was roughness. Fishnet.

Fishnet.

His eyes flew open. His heart pounded. What in the hell was he doing? She was all whored up for Fez. She wasn't his Jackie anymore. And damn it, he didn't care. He didn't. It was long over, and that was a good thing.

He took his hands off her and nudged his shoulder up rather hard. "Get off me," he said, making sure to sound angry. "Get off!"

She quickly got up, stumbling to her feet. He sat up and looked up at her. Her face was flushed, her eyes downcast. "I...I'm sorry," she said.

He swallowed and looked away. It was disturbing, her dressed like that but looking in her eyes and sounding like a ten year old girl. "Whatever." He wanted her to go away. He wanted to get drunk, or high, or both. He wanted to forget this entire encounter had happened.

He wanted to forget her.

"I'm just gonna go find...I'm gonna go find...uh..."

"Fez?" he asked, still avoiding her by staring at the god damned boot she'd tripped over and collapsed to him, reminding him of how it used to be. Fucking boot.

"Yeah. Fez. I...just...I'll just go."

Out of his peripheral vision, he saw her leave. He lay back down and stared at the ceiling. His stash was within reach. The beer was only a few dozen steps away. He wanted both of them, or at least he had two seconds ago.

Now it was easier to just lay there. He closed his eyes. What in the hell was wrong with Jackie? First she was wearing sweats and tee shirts and throwing rocks off a bridge. Now she was dressing up like a slut. She hadn't even made any snide comments to Tracy or Lacey or whoever the hell that chick was. She was...fading. Everything about her had dulled over. She used to be bright colors, now she was almost grey.

Like in the dreams. The small chick kept disappearing.

He sat up and rolled his eyes, shaking his head angrily. "Fuck, why am I thinking about her?" He glared at the floor.

Damned boot.

_I'm Begging_

"Are you begging me, Jackie?"

She'd waited up for Fez, though she'd taken off the whore clothes. He'd stumbled in at half past four, cursing both Steven and Kelso, and while she'd made him some hot chocolate, she'd presented her case. Now, he was grinning like some drugged Cheshire Cat. "Look, all I'm saying is that I know things haven't been so great lately," she said, hoping that her voice was steady. She clutched the edge of the kitchen counter and looked at her boyfriend. "Mostly because of me, I know. I just..." Why wasn't she tearing up? She should be. She should be flushing and tearing up, and breaking down.

_There's nothing inside anymore, Jackie. No tears, no feelings, no anything. Nothing to collapse. Nothing to break down. Get used to it. _

Fez sighed and shook his head. "Jackie, things haven't just not been good, they've been horrible. You don't want to do anything anymore." He began ticking things off on his fingers. "You do not want to go shopping. You do not want to go to Kelso's. You do not want to go to the movies. You do not want to go to the candy store. You do not want to watch dirty movies with me. And," he said, glaring at her. "You do not ever wear that outfit I bought for you. And it was expensive!"

"I'll wear it," she said quickly, pushing away the disgust. "Please, Fez, I want this to work. I'll change. I'll do whatever..." She cleared her throat and leaned over the counter so she could take his hands. "I'll do whatever you want, Fezzie. I love you. I really do. And I wanna be with you. I really do."

"Are you begging me, Jackie? Because I really couldn't say no if you beg me."

She blinked slowly. Over and over again. The air around her felt heavy and oppressive, made her dizzy, kept her captive in this moment. Something, maybe that same air, pressed her on either side, so hard her arms felt like they were melding into her breasts, like her inside was smashing inward with nothing preventing it.

Fez stared at her.

He was her boyfriend. Her perfect man. She'd made a list. She couldn't fail at another relationship. She couldn't lose another boyfriend. This time, she'd do what he wanted. This time she'd try harder. This time, it wouldn't matter what she wanted. She wouldn't make that mistake again. She wouldn't demand. She wouldn't expect. She'd only please him.

"Yes, Fez," she said softly. "Yes, I'm begging." She swallowed. "Please, Fezzie. Please give me another chance." She tilted her head and tried to smile sexily. "I'll go put on that outfit right now, if you want."

His eyes lit up like two dozen strands of Christmas lights, and he clapped his hands together. "Oh my god, I never thought _you_ would beg for me! I have not even dared to _dream _of it, and it is happening! Oh, happy day!" His gleeful expression turned stern and he pointed at her. "Okay, Jacqueline. I will give you another chance. As long as you promise to take care of my needs more often. And by taking care of my needs, I also mean posing for pictures."

Jackie nodded. "Okay, Fezzie. Give me twenty minutes, and we'll have a very, very special morning, okay?"

Her knees trembled as the oppressive air retreated and left her cold, just as Fez left her standing there alone.

Cold. Nothing.

It was getting so familiar to her.

_Because I love him_

Jackie stared at herself in the mirror. "So this is what I look like as a stripper wannabe," she whispered. She flipped the red tassles in the middle of her right breast. A black, silk and lace bra and panty set, complete with the tassles and of course garter belts and stockings, had been her Valentine's Day present.

Fez bought it after seeing Steven's stripper whore wife wearing one like it.

She took a deep breath. Steven. Her hand involuntarily shot up, and she rubbed her earlobe with her index finger. He'd kissed her there tonight. He'd touched her again. And for that brief moment, she'd felt warm. Or at least warmer.

She closed her eyes and shook her head. No. No. No thinking about Steven. Or warmth, or whatever the hell she was thinking about.

Another deep breath, and she opened her eyes. Red lipstick, too much eye shadow, trashy lingerie.

"I could be in one of Fez's magazines," she whispered. She smiled. Yeah. That was the point.

She grabbed the pair of panties she'd laid on her dresser. A little token for Fez, to show him she meant what she said. She picked up the tape she'd made. Sexy songs perfect to strip to.

And now her eyes burned. Now her cheeks flushed. Now she felt gut ripping.

She shook it away and looked at herself in the mirror again. "Because I love him," she muttered, fluffing up a section of hair. _Because I can't fail again. I can't screw this up. I can't get hurt again. _

She closed her eyes. Huh. Maybe this time it wouldn't hurt. Nothing really did lately.

Straightening her spine, she opened her eyes and licked her lips. Not worth the risk. As she headed towards Fez's room, her earlobe itched.

She didn't touch it, but she wanted to.

_Remember_

_The next day _

The twenty minutes he'd been sitting in Grooves with Fez, Kelso and that prick Brian had been pure hell. He'd tried to appear amused, impressed even by Fez's tale of his sexual exploits the night before, of Jackie playing Sam (a direct quote) for Fez. And then Jackie came in.

Of course Kelso had to mention the striptease. Of course.

Hyde did his best not to look at her, but he saw her anyway. His eyes, against his will, kept darting up to her pale face. She stood in front of the listening pit, hands on her hips and what was supposed to be a nasty look directed at Fez.

He looked down. She used to have looks that could kill. This one couldn't even maim. What in the hell was wrong with her?

"You told them, Fez?"

Hyde closed his eyes. He wanted his stash, but somehow couldn't make himself stand and leave.

"Hey, if you didn't want me to tell them, then you should not have done a striptease for me!"

"You know, Jackie..."

Hyde's eyes opened, and he swallowed as his so-called brother wrapped an arm around Jackie's shoulders. His fist clenched. He noticed, and forced himself to flatten his hand on his thigh, though it didn't help the tightening in his gut. At least Jackie shook the asshole's arm off of her.

"How about doing a dance for me? I'll even buy you dinner first."

Fez laughed. "Just be sure you charge him, Jackie."

Hyde sensed Fez looking at him, and when he checked, yep, he was. He was grinning as if he expected Hyde to be impressed that he'd come up with the same thing he'd once said to Sam.

He just stared. Said nothing. Stayed Zen. Fez's grin faltered. That satisfied Hyde. A little.

"Fez, I can't believe you! You should be defending me. You should be punching this...whatever, out! What is wrong with you?"

Hyde closed his eyes again. Maybe if he concentrated hard enough, they'd all go away. He tried to thing peaceful thoughts. Beer. Film. A sunny beach in Florida with chicks in bikinis all around.

Except one of them was Jackie. And she was crying. And he wanted to go to her.

He opened his eyes again and grimaced. What in the hell was wrong with _him_?

"Jackie, if you do not like it, you know what will happen. Remember? I told you last night when you begged me to stay with you."

Hyde watched Fez smirk.

"Remember?"

He looked at Jackie, hoping that she'd come up with something, with some fire from somewhere inside of her, hoping she'd go all cat-fighty and kick Fez's ass the way she'd once kicked Laurie's, but all she did was look down at her feet and mumble a response.

He felt deflated. Let down. He kept staring at her, but she didn't look at him.

What in the hell was wrong with her? This wasn't the Jackie he remembered, could still remember.

A few minutes later, Jackie was gone. Hyde had no clue what she'd said, or what the others had said. The next thing he heard was Kelso kissing Fez's sorry ass.

"Oh, my, god, Fez! Jackie _begged_ you to stay with her? I never thought I'd say it, but man, you're my hero!"

Brian, of course, chimed in. "Dude, that chick is so hot. Man, if you ever get bored with her, send her my way."

Fez laughed. "Oh, I will not need to do that. She has slept with all of us, so I'm sure when I find another chick, she'll just naturally go to you."

Hyde stood up, almost kicking the chair he'd been sitting in over, and he glared at Fez. What he wanted to do was beat the guy until he begged for his mommy. "Well, as fun as this has been, _ladies_, I've got stuff to do."

He headed towards the back room.

His stash. A little bit of that, and he wouldn't remember the damn conversation, how Fez had talked about Jackie like she was some sex toy.

Or that it bugged the shit out of him.

_Fez's Face_

Grinning as he walked out of his old bedroom, Hyde nodded to himself. He'd been lucky. Red hadn't found the bag of film he'd accidentally left in the closet. And he needed it. All afternoon, all evening, he'd thought about the scene at Grooves. He'd gone driving, to the bridge, and she'd been there, but he hadn't stopped. Why? What in the hell could he say to her? She probably thought he'd been egging Fez on, laughing at her, calling her a whore.

Couldn't blame her, really. He swallowed the bitter bile. And again. Seemed to be there a lot lately when he thought of her.

When he reached the stairs, he heard voices. Loud voices. Red yelling something. A few muffled sobs. He quickly stuffed the bag in his back pocket and took the steps two at a time.

Mr. and Mrs. Forman were standing near Red's chair. Forman was next to Mrs. Forman. And in front of them stood Laurie.

"Holy hell," he muttered, louder than he thought he had because they all looked at him.

In Laurie's arms was a kid with black hair.

Hyde stumbled towards them. "Uh..."

Laurie rolled her eyes. "I suppose I should introduce you, too." She turned towards him and plastered a smile on. "Hyde, this is my son. Baby, this is your..." She rolled her eyes again. "Uncle Hyde."

The little boy grinned at him and shyly waved.

Hyde wondered if he was breathing. He tried to grin and lifted his hand in a weak greeting. The boy giggled and buried his head in Laurie's shoulder, but not before Hyde noticed.

The little boy had Fez's face. Exactly Fez's face.


End file.
